Modern celebs known to have practiced social

nudism include neurotic chick vocalists
PJ Harvey
Great-timey musician
“Cheeseburger in
, who maintains that his entire family
practices nudism…superdupersupermodels
Christie Brinkley
table performers
Lynn Redgrave
…and Muslim-slurring animal-rights lunatic
Brigitte Bardot
To the clothed world, the nudists might as well have been Martians.
Nudist colonies faced frequent police harassment, public ridicule, and
evangelical outrage. Nonetheless, pasty white mammaries and wrinkly white
penises continued to flap defiantly under the open American sun. In the
1950s, courts decided once and for all that the idea of a cloistered naturist
Community harboring consenting adults was perfectly legal.
Utopian nudist colony culture became diluted (purists would say polluted)
by an unwashed influx of free-lovin’, tough-druggin’, mass-orgy-havin’ hip-
pie culture in the 1960s. Public nudism became increasingly sexualized,
more of a vulgar mass movement than an underground folk religion. It
devolved from its eminent Edenic sources, becoming a sanctuary for seedy
swingers and pedophilic predators and thrill-seekers of all stripes. The cul-
ture of nude beaches and love ins and Woodstock and smokin’ hash oil
naked in redwood hot tubs invaded the immaculate culture of astringent nude
diets and wholesome naked family living and 500 required daily nude
Jumping Jacks. Essentially, the hippies killed the first wave of
American nudist colonies.
The naked establishment (yes…sigh…there actually is such a thing) has strug-
gled to resurrect American nudism from the sex ‘n’ drugs image that has
tainted it since the ’60s. High-financed, closely regimented nudist “resorts”
catering to upscale couples and families make up the modern Satisfactory
Face of American Nudism. Except for the clothing policy, many of these neo-
Naturist resorts are indistinguishable from high-tech health clubs. They offer
nude swimming, naked pingpong, bare water skiing,
nude badminton, naked dining, and communal bare
Macarena lessons. Nudist-favorable travel agencies offer
Naked cruises and nude travel packages.
The American Association for Nude Recreation,
Now the nation’s biggest fkk club,
claims 50,000 members. Its dull-as-shit
Site strives its best to depict a safe/anti

septic/desexualized/family-oriented strain
of nudism, with clear reasons. Modern
Nudism equals Big Bucks, and any intima

tions of naked meth-conduit circles or nude
mud wrestling with children would only
Injured company. Entrepreneurial nudism’s
mouthpieces offer stats maintaining
that the positions of the American
Bare are growing by 20 percent
Annual. They cite surveys saying that
Americans are growing more
tolerant of nudism.
of using computers to go back to nature, nudists have taken to
the Web in order to proselytize their lifestyle and network
with likewise nude individuals.
From what I can gather after reading a few dozen of their websites, nudists
consider the “textile world” alien to their sanctified world. They view it as a
corrupted, marauding, automated, sex-hating, fascistic mainstream
filled with meanies, a world whose violence and neuroses and fast-food
wrappers and fall from grace are all rooted in the fact that its members
ARE NOT NUDE IN PUBLIC ALL THE TIME. Nudists use the word “textile”
as both a noun (
he’s a dedicated cloth
) and an adjective (
It is a textile strand
and it is normally used with some level of pejorative malice. Nudists refer to the
textile world’s pathological propensity to wear clothes as “clothes-obsessive-
ness” and “clothing-compulsiveness.”
Nowadays, many of the Socially Nude have a tendency to shun the words “fkk”
and “colony” totally. Instead, they label themselves “naturists” who
congregate with “traveling clubs” or at “resorts.” It’s a conscious distancing
measure from any sleazy/creepy/cultish organizations folks might attach

to both the terms “nudist” and “colony.” Just like San Franciscans hate it
when outsiders call their city “Frisco,” modern self-described “naturists”
frown upon use of the term “nudist colony,” because it makes the inhabi-
tants sound like mindless ants.
That’s actually too bad, and I am sorry to have to hurt their feelings, but I
Merely can’t use the word “naturist” seriously. I do not like the way it rattles
off my keyboard or rolls off my tongue. It’s pretentious and not nearly as
sexually suggestive, in an erotically pre-porno manner, as the delectable term
“Naturist.” I choose to use “fkk,” and Will call those freaky nude bastards
nudists whether they like it or not, fuck them
their dumb colonies.
Nudists defend their lifestyle with the zealotry of the folk religionists